In just over a month I will be flying across the Atlantic to study at a University in America for four months. That’s why I have been unable to post on here in a while – my life has been pretty hectic recently, but thankfully it’s all a bit calmer for now! I don’t mind the fact that I am leaving the country, it’s something I have wanted for years (to study in the States during a presidential election – not leaving the country that is!). It’s the waiting for the day to arrive that is getting me, it feels so drawn out and so far away and the weeks are going so slowly! Sometimes, when I’ve had a stressful day at work or had a disagreement with someone I breathe a sigh of relief that I’m leaving. Often, new places and new faces are temporarily what we need. The chance to go somewhere we’ve never been and start again essentially. Mix with people who don’t know what our story is, who don’t understand the chaos we have escaped from. However, there are other moments when I think ‘what the heck am I doing?’. I have such a good life going on here, great friends, lots to do, a job, a place at Uni, a home, a flat at Uni… why am I leaving all of this to find something else? Well, firstly, to answer my own question, I’m only going for four months rather than a whole academic year, so that’s enough time to get a feel for the place and have a good experience but not lose everything I have back home. I’d rather leave my time in America wanting more rather than feeling lost and that I’ve been away from home for too long to come back to what I had. Plus, the time period I’m going over there is during a Presidential election which is what I study at Uni, so the timing could not have been any better!
Since I have had so long to think about this whole experience (I’ve known I was going since March) there have been a couple of occasions where I’ve thought that maybe I should stay home, where the thought of being so far away surrounded by strangers has been overwhelming. But I have to do it. I know I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I backed out now. It’s like when I first started Uni in my own home country, eventhough I was only an hour down the road from my parents I was still terrified and still in an unknown place with people I’d never met before (most of which have now become the best friends I have ever known!). So, I guess everyone is in the same boat in that way. It’s a growing and learning experience that I need, not just for my degree or my future but for my character and life in general.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. I’ll take the former, please.