Guilt

I feel really bad about two things, neither of which are my fault.

The first relates to my Christmas shopping. Yesterday, I bought something that was £19.50 so I handed over a £20 note but the guy serving me gave me £5 in change. I just accepted it without even thinking it was wrong and walked out the shop. He even wore a manager’s badge! It was only when I got out the shop that I’d realised what had happened. But I feel really bad that I kept walking and didn’t go back and return the money. I’m sure he eventually realised what had happened. Or maybe he didn’t. To be honest, if he did it so quickly and easily without even thinking, I probably wasn’t the only person he gave the wrong change to. I later spent the money on chocolate because I guess it makes up for all the times I have ever had a discrepancy at work ( though I always seem to end up with more money rather than less) or wasted money on something. I know it’s not my fault but I feel bad I didn’t go back and return the change.

The second thing is even less my fault than the first. I work as an usher at a theatre and today two of my friends who I haven’t seen in a really long time came to see the show. However they turned up for the evening when their tickets were for the matinee. We were sold out today so had nowhere they could sit and they weren’t the only people who had made the mistake so we had loads of people we couldn’t reseat and they had to leave. I feel awful that I can’t do anything because I know we are sold out for the rest of the run and I can’t even sneak them in. That’s definitely not my fault but I still feel bad that I couldn’t help them when I should be able to – it’s my place of work.

However, it is Christmas in less than 24 hours so I’m going to get all the guilt out of my system on Christmas Eve so that I can just relax on Christmas Day. That sounds weird but it makes sense in my head.

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